I remember Adam showing us this picture at the beginning of the year and thinking it was a nice idea, but not really buying into it. Little did I know that this year would be one of the most difficult and uncomfortable of my life. As a result, I experienced a lot of growth, or “magic”, despite being hesitant to change.
When I applied to the University of Michigan, I believed that I wanted to be a physician. However, a few months after my application had been submitted, I realized that nursing, or advanced practice nursing would be a better fit for me. Because U of M has a direct admit nursing program — meaning that students are immersed in nursing curriculum their freshman year — I would have to transfer into the program for my sophomore year. This has been a huge challenge and source of frustration for me.
This year I have had to be patient, advocate for myself, cope with uncertainty and anxiety, and work harder than I ever had before. Because I am not in the School of Nursing yet, and therefore don’t have a reserved seat in classes like those in the program do, I had to receive overrides for the majority of the classes I took; before I had even arrived on campus I was emailing professors begging and pleading with them to allow me into their classes.
Within the first two weeks I frequently called home crying, questioning whether I really even wanted to be in the health field or not. This uncertainty pushed me to pursue information about other majors, occupations, and even nursing. I started volunteering as a doula at the hospital, and fell in love with the idea of being a health care provider all over again; though a time commitment, and somewhat awkward first engagement, the connection that forms between laboring mothers and me is something I would never trade. These experiences have taught me to pursue what I want with a passion, and to try to learn something along the way. This year I’ve learned to love being uncomfortable because I know that the outcome on the other side will be something unexpected and worthwhile.
As I sit and type this, I’m still uncomfortable. The School of Nursing is notoriously unorganized, and has yet to alert me of their decision about my admission into the program. However, I know that whenever the news comes, be it “good” or “bad”, I’m going to be okay. The growth is going to happen whether I want it to or not, so I might as well embrace it.