As I am sitting here contemplating what to write for my post, I am starting to feel a little bit emotional. As we are coming to the end of our freshman year, I have been in denial. Now, it’s starting to hit me how much I will miss my hallmates and my roommate. At the beginning of the year, I honestly had no idea what to expect. Although my classes were much more difficult first semester, it was definitely easier for me, because life was going great for me. I felt like I’d made so many new friends and I was having so much fun enjoying the full college experience. Second semester was a lot more challenging. College is such an incredible experience, but coming into it you don’t realize that it will test and challenge you in so many ways other than academically. Second semester, I took easier classes but life has thrown me a few curve balls. Right when the semester started, I really started to struggle with a lot of difficult and confusing questions about my faith, which I had never really done before. My faith is one of my defining identities and, during first semester, I was used to leaning on it for comfort and joy. So, when I started going through this period of doubt, I was always feeling conflicted and I no longer felt that comfort and joy, which was difficult. However, the questions I had were very important for me to be asking, and eventually I found peace in my answers. Looking back, I am thankful for this period of doubt because I grew so much in that identity of mine. Something that has also been heavy on my heart is my grandma, who is going to pass away soon from cancer (sorry this is like the most depressing blog post ever). I consider myself to be a very optimistic, happy person but in the past couple of weeks I have felt very sad and low for my grandma and family. I have noticed myself holding all of these feelings in. However, I am overcoming this challenge in baby steps, realizing that I need to be more open with my friends about what I’m going through, and to allow myself to also feel happiness and joy.
College is the first time that I have really had to figure out how to juggle all aspects of my life- school, friends, family life, SLEEP SCHEDULE, exercise, my diet- and in some of those categories (diet especially) I have failed miserably, but that is all a part of the experience. Overall, I have had so many high points and low points, and I wouldn’t trade any of them for anything, because they are making me who I am. I know everyone says it, but I have really grown up so much since I first walked through the doors on move-in day — in a good way :).