Don’t Look Back

Don’t Look Back

When I first came to university, I did not want to have the label of “annoying/obnoxious” individual that subtly followed me throughout my high school career. I wanted to emulate the shyer more mysterious types that I knew: “No one every says anything bad about them” I reasoned.

As a strong extrovert, this was not the best course of action. My social health, compared to other well-beings, was gradually decreasing like a Sims dial. In the “Letter to Myself” I urged myself to think a lot of my health and physical well-being. Noting that I had to “exercise at least three times a week” and to join extracurriculars like yoga. This was my goal throughout the summer and naturally, I thought this is what is the most paramount thing I would have to maintain throughout college. I even addressed my financially well-being. As a college student, I knew that I had to be much more stingy with how I spent my cash as I knew that my parents were not going to be over my shoulders at any given time. My social health, however, was not even touched upon in the piece. 

Many points early in the semester, I loitered with myself.  Eating lunch with only my cellphone as company. I was content, but did not realize that that was hurting me over time. Pretty soon, I had a breakdown. “I don’t have any friends,” I confessed to my parents over the phone one day. “I want to go back home.” This dynamic continued on for the next month—October—until I finally put a halt to it. I told myself to quit pitying my situation. The only person that got myself in this position was me and the only one that could get myself out is me. I couldn’t continue to wait for someone to fall from the heavens. I started to act like my “obnoxious” self once again. Starting conversations with semi-strangers, excitedly interrupting others when we started talking about a relatable topic, and so on. I am proud that I can go to Mojo any time, any day during the week and find someone to sit with. Professionally, I garnered more perspectives about others in my life. I became more tolerant of views that were not necessarily even in the same league as mine. Next semester, I want to be able to manage my time more wisely so that all the well-beings can be balanced instead of having sleep greatly lacking with social health extremely high. 

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